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Tuesday, November 16th, 2004
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Found at the BBC:
The system is unlikely to be significantly changed. Presidents seem to like having more than one source of foreign policy advice. It gives them more power themselves to pick and choose. And they have the final say.
I can't say that this can be said for this president... Unless he's more bovine than we thought.
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Monday, November 15th, 2004
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From Reuters (emphisis added):
While U.S. forces have won a military victory, the process of rebuilding Falluja, assisting around 150,000 residents who fled, and preparing it for January elections could take months.
Seriously? You mean, you can't level a city and have it up by Christmas? The story hits hard, then trails off into this reservist mumbo-jumbo; if it's in ruins, don't say "it could take months." Who let that little bit of spin in there? I'm nearly certain we'll be fighting in Falluja for more than another couple of weeks and we'll definately be there rebuilding for many months. Naturally, like in every other city in Iraq, there'll be security concerns and daily attacks. When things become so cyclic that things become predictable, do something to bloody prevent the recurrances!
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Newsday has a bit to say regarding the recent clearing house actions of the WH within the CIA. I tried to read this article from both sides of the isle, but I simply cannot fathom how eliminating professionals out of the Agency would have anything but a negative effect. The inherent problem with a policy such as this is the creation of an even larger petry dish for group-think and policy railroading. How can anyone believe that offering no counterpoint, or logical reproach, to policy decisions is good for the nation and it's security as a whole? Frankly the thought that one single mandate could echo though the sound-proof walls of Langley without a change of tone is terrifying.
With all this "purification" going on, the Potomac won't be the only stale smell wafting through D.C. in the coming years.
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Friday, November 12th, 2004
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New Donkey says that it's not "the Economy, Stupid." Here's an excerpt:
We're the "wrong track" party when it comes to the cultural direction of the country, and we have to decide whether to bravely swim upstream out of loyalty to hip-hop and Michael Moore and Grand Theft Auto IV and Hollywood campaign contributions, or do something else, like at least expressing a little ambivalence about it all. Changing the subject is cowardly and insulting no matter how you look at it.
What this is, what I fear it to show, is that to be "successful," Liberals have to begin to reign in on free speech and civil liberties to reach the "heartland" of America. Perhaps a little castigation is in order for some of the more gratuitous conflagurations of film and filth, but I don't believe that should be public policy. Challenging the market of violence and sex isn't the chariot that America should be chasing. Americans should be challenging the institutions themselves and, just like a vote in an election, their dollars will prove more effective in changing things than splitting the country preaching personal convictions. Remember, your convictions are your own.
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When church leaders spout filth about those that do not agree with them, how are those that even loosely adhere to the christian doctrine supposed to react? Everyone that knows me knows me to be rather socially liberal, but a good person. I don't hate you if you love God. I don't hate you if you read the Bible every day. I don't hate anybody, really. Well, at least not on some preconceived notion. Make me hate you and you get what you've wrought. Seriously though, all of those that call themselves christians and ahere to these obvious tenets of hate need to see through their rhetoric and bluster to realize that they're exactly what they should be despising.
"Hate the God-haters!", but hate itself is against God's will. If you're to know God, you're to know forgiveness and love for all mankind. If you're to know God, you're to know that it's not God's will to smite those that would resist you. If you're to know God as your Lord and Savior, you're to embrace the traits that God has taught through his actions. "Through his deeds lie truth. Through his deeds lie answers." Fire and brimstone evangelicals would have you forget this.
Evangelical preachers would have you focus on hate and fear. They would have you hate those that don't follow their doctrine. They would make you fear the consequences of allowing non-evangelicals gaining power, politically or socially. Fear and hate, as any jedi knows, leads only one direction: the Darkside. That's right, you can't get through one of my posts without a little levity. Frankly I find it absurd that evangelicals can whip "believers" into such a froth over abortion and gay rights, make them loathe and fear the subjects as much as the people that embody the messages. In reality, through God's teachings, people must embrace their differences and live for love.
My opinion, admittedly influenced by years of Catholic upbringing, is that there is no need to be hateful, or fearful, or believe that if gays have the right to same or similar social privileges as heterosexuals do that the end of the world commeth. There is no need to hateful or be fearful that others have a different opinion as you regarding abortion. Live as you would, in the eyes of your Lord, under the heel of your Pastor, and practice what's preached to you and let everyone else be. It's not your right to interfere with the communion each citizen of the world has with their god, it's not your right to hold everyone to a standard you place upon yourself--especially when it's God's responsibility, God's alone, to levy judgement. Practice love, or practice hate--the real God knows.
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Thursday, November 11th, 2004
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This link jumps to some satire regarding a recent Wisconsin school board allowing schools to"teach more than evolution". As I posted in the comments on WM, I couldn't get the song "If you're gonna play in Texas, y'gotta have a fiddle in the band" out of my head. If this isn't portent of the pure banditry that the Neocons are bringing upon this Great Society, I don't know what is.
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That oft laughed through portion of health class is no longer a realistic peak into the frighteningly scary, consequence-laden, life-changing, choice to enter sexual relations with another. At least not in Texas. Texas is not Minnesota, but children are still children whether they live in Austin, or St. Paul. Sexual education during my years in school never consisted of the condon-meets-banana exercise, nor did it include any graphic representations of sexual intercourse. In fact, I was one of those "lucky" enough to have been lectured on sex by Catholic Schools Co. I got "abstinence is the only way," but I'm a sexually active person. I wasn't at 16, but there were those that were--even at the highly regarded prep school I spent my formative years in.
Therein lies the rub: that preaching abstinence does nothing to qwell the urge of young people to have sex. Give children enough information to see the potential dangers of sexual activity, give them the option of abstinence, but don't fool yourself into thinking that just because a book tells them not to have sex before marriage that they wont. This isn't about eliminating a problem; the problem will forever exist. This is about minimizing the impact of life-threatening illnesses among a very vulnerable group of people.
I love how the abstinence-only abdicators tell the world that families should educate their children about contraception, while they sit back and don't tell their children anything but their party line. Sure your ideology is what you have, but you have to fill in those blanks if you're not letting your children get informed in school. Honestly, these parents need to let the children learn the facts of life...not simply the tenets of their parent's incredibly narrow, small, world.
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Tuesday, April 13th, 2004
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| Time: | 3:53 pm. |
| Mood: |  bored. | | Music: | fast-transmission (original mix) (D I G I T A L L Y - I M P O R T E D - European Trance, Techno, Hi-. |
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Yeah, so I didn't come through like I promised. I know you all were waiting with bated breath for my next post. Well, you and the other guy. I've come here today to say that all is well, even though my taxes may or may not be on time (I can't tell if that damn efile thing worked). I'm sitting at work doing nothing (note: see mood), so what's better than a good journal post. I would daresay that most things, other than taxes, are going well. Except, maybe my bills, I always forget to pay them on time. I feel bad, but they get their money, don't they? Ok, so taxes and bills aren't my proficiencies. That said, let's move on.
Diamonds, they're forever and a Girl's Best Friend®. I need to buy one, yeah...you heard me. I'm broke though, so I can't figure out how I'm going to do this, but I feel like I'd rather do it sooner than later. Hell, I read about Becks and Posh earlier and got all mushy when I read how they met and how it was "love at first sight". Be on the look out for my testicles, I've somehow lost them and would like them back. So there's the human male paradox: for some reason we want to get married and we don't know why and castigate ourselves every chance we get when we fall into the "love pit". Ahhh.... I need this.
Caroline's b-day was on Sunday and in Classic Mike Fashion, I waited to the last minute to purchase her a gift (boy is she in for a treat if she says "yes"). Sitting next to me is a 128MB MP3 player. I honestly feel pretty guilty for buying it, as I'm such a staunch supporter of the minidisc, but I find solace in the fact that it's "not for me". C-dawg has a bulky tape-player walkman and I feel that she needs to move forward technologically, otherwise what good am I in the relationship if I can't keep her somewhat up-to-date. It's nothing fancy, the mp3 player, just a little stick with the normal navi-buttons and a static (and un-upgradeable) 128MB memory. I felt that she wouldn't need, nor utilize, most of the fluff found on many of todays portable MP3 players. Expandability and an FM tuner may have been usable, but I got this sucker for half the price of even the cheapest of the more "robust" units. I fought the urge to open it and fiddle with it, to get a head-start on setting it up for her (I know that I will end up, at least for the near future, be the sole configurator of the thing), but I thought that it'd be better if SHE opened the damn fort-knoxian plastic molding that encases it. I hate the hermetically sealed packages that, even if opened with a scissors, will cut you more efficiently than the ginsu knives available on QVC.
Where was I heading? Nowhere, yes, that's where. I'm off to give my gift to the girlie and then off to league tonight. We get to travel to my home city, to shoot 8-ball with the people that (snobby voice) "live on the OTHER side of 42". Talk at you "all" later!
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Thursday, March 11th, 2004
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Well good day to all you Livejournaling folk, it's been a while and I have just renewed my interest in keeping this journal rolling. It's been months since I've put anything up here and frankly, things have been exciting.
First off, Christmas was the same as it always has, but this time had a dual-family twist. I spent the Eve at my parent's house while Caroline did the same at her parent's. My family had a nice dinner and we opened a gift each. I went with inspired gifts for everyone this year, as I like to do. I got my dad a bottle of Basil Hayden bourbon, my mom a Boyd's kittie with a cute little red cloak, and I gave Khen and Dave a joint gift of SSX3. Caroline's gift was a sapphire ring set in white gold which I "hid" in the jewelry box that my mother bought for her. Caroline got her gift on Christmas day when I went over to her parent's house, a nice hour-plus drive away. The surprise worked and I didn't even have to tell her to open the jewelry box: she'd unwrapped it and opened it all on her own. When she lifted the lid and saw the ring she dropped the lid, let out a bit of a muffled giddy laugh and looked at me with her mom in shock. The reaction was worth twice the price of the ring. I love surprising people and her most of all. After chatting with her 'rents we took off for the apartment to drop off a car to then head to my Uncle's place for my extended family celebration. The highlight of that portion of the day was that I forgot my glasses in the house during a short rest-stop before heading over to the uncle's and when I jogged back to retrieve them, leaving Caroline with the car, I slid on some ice and shredded my pants and my "bad" knee. I finished the night drinking just enough to mull the pain, but not enough to keep me from driving back home, which I did with some very nice gifts from the fam in the car.
The new year kicked off with a bang. Caroline and I got together with some friends of ours who had a table reserved at a very nice place in St. Louis Park, called Mojito where e had a three course meal and desert that cost a boat load (the wine and drinks didn't do to serve our interests at keeping the night cheap, I'd spent a little too much on gifts and had gone negative on the checking balance a couple weeks prior. Luckily the bank took care of it). I spent most of my Christmas money on the night, nearly two hundred dollars, but we had fun. We ended up at the Kitty Kat Club in Dinkytown for drinks and music. They had a ska band that was pretty fun to listen to. We scored a table due to quick reaction by my friend's wife, which made the evening much more enjoyable...considering that 40% of the patrons were forced to stand. We didn't have to worry about driving, so we let loose pretty well and took a cabby home to pass out and sleep until noon the next day. The hang over wasn't even that bad!
The bad part was to come about a week later. I started to have pain in my abdomen on Wednesday the 7th of January, which I went to the doctor's office for on Friday the 9th, thinking (er, hoping) that it was just really bad gas. By Friday I wasn't feeling too bad, but Thursday I doubled over in pain when I'd gotten home from leaving work early. The doctor found nothing from a UA, nor the blood test I took, but still recommended that I get a CAT scan. The nurse scheduled the appointment for 3:30, I'd not eaten all day, nor would I get to. I had to wait for an ER patient to clear the scanning room before I could get in there, so I waited an extra half hour or so past my appointment, waited another ten minutes after the scan to have a portable phone given to me. My doctor was on the other end and he told me that I had accute appendicitus and that I needed to be admitted immediately. I was in surgery three hours later. Surgery twice in just six months! At least I got to have tasty frozen Hot Tamales that I left in my car overnight as a sort of victory dance for when my CAT came up negative. =)
Naturally I had a boat load of work to do when I got back to work a week after surgery. Personally I could have taken another few days off, but I wanted to get cracking and I paid for it. I worked the weekend, migrating the office to new servers, which meant the Tuesday after MLK Day was going to be a chore. I completely wore myself out and didn't feel up to working a full day until Friday: Wednesday and Thursday I went home no later than 14:00 on both days. Work kept me busy for the next few weeks and February came before I was even ready for it.
As it was, February was a wash. Caroline kept extremely busy with grad school work and I finally got to coast a little bit. Pool league had resumed and we'd started in a new league, the tougher Advanced league. Other than the fact that I totally screwed up Valentine's Day with Caroline, the month went well. I was supposed to take her out for a nice belated Valentine's on the 27th, she had the day off and I took it off to spend it with her, but she had some money concerns when her grad school bill come around and I decided that we should not go out-out and we ended up at the local, had a tasty fish sammich and hung out. I guess I didn't totally screw it up, but Caroline got concerned because we didn't do anything "special". She's got the big M on the brain and took the fact that we didn't paint the town as some weird indicator that I wasn't serious about our relationship. This is totally off-base and wrong and I made sure she knew that. It was the first time we'd ever really had a big discussion that emotionally charged. Naturally we're on the same page now, both happier than ever with our relationship.
March has rolled in and I continue to have no luck, regardless of how Irish I am. Monday the 8th the metro was hit by a flash blizzard. It was just cold enough to freeze the very wet snow as about an inch covered everything. Approximately 120 some-odd crashes were reported on Monday due to the storm, I was one of them (though, unreported). I was going very slowly, nearly back from lunch, when I slid like a hockey puck into a van that sat at the stop sign idly. The van had some paint smudging, a scrape in the lens and maybe a scratch or two; meanwhile my car took $1500 worth of damage. I have to have the front fender, left front quarter panel and the left headlight assembly replaced as well as the necessary paint matching done. Money is floating out the window, meanwhile I try to save money for a certain sparkly thing mounted on a shiny circular band. Yeah, guess what I'm planning to do.
Well, hopefully I can keep this page updated with personal trivia so you all (haha) have something to read over your lunch hour.
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Monday, November 3rd, 2003
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Busy weekends are worthless.
What Caroline and I needed was a weekend to ourselves, to revilatize. What we got was a whole bunch of running around and more stress than was needed. Friday night was fine; dinner, wine and movies made for a nice laid back Halloween evening. Saturday however, turned everything on it's ear. We started the day with a nice breakfast and watched another flick, but we quickly turned relaxed into action packed as we joined the throng of people in Sam's Club.
Sam's Club is the epitome of wholesale shopping. Wonderous bargains on most items, only some of which you'd like in mass quantity. Large quantities are the trade off of low prices, so instead of saving 20% on one item, you save 20% on 20 of that item. You can't just buy one of anything. Not even milk (required minimum purchase: two gallons)! There are a couple of problems with that place: one, you're stuck in overstocked aisles that are overcrowded with everything from grandmas to kids pulling on jackets "wanting more. WAAAGHHHH!"; and two: you have to weigh the benefits of buying that 20-pack of chunk light tuna and case of San Pellegrino. Do you need five pounds of Tide Ultra? You can save a lot in the long run, but where are you going to put the vat that it comes in? After battling the thrifty shoppers for a place in line, getting home was a blast, we had boxes on passenger's laps and shoved in the trunk of my coupe like refugees would pack personal effects. Unloading was a joy.
I'd dropped my brother and mother at their homestead and took off for home. Sam's brings you even more savings by not supplying bags. You're forced to move your items from your car to the cupboard piecemeal. You don't just get savings from 'em, you get an engineering lesson too! 40 pounds of Pellegrino with massive amounts of tuna and fruit were precariously relocated to the living room floor for later storage. After the load was all put away, we had a few hours until we had to get ready for a party.
The party was a wash. It was Caroline's brother's party, so we knew no one. I was not in a mood to drink or be merry and Caroline got off without wearing a costume, but I was donning shorts and an England footy jersey in a poor attempt at being a soccer star. We left early, 10PM, got home to watch a movie and fell asleep in the first five minutes of it. We woke up Sunday morning at 9:30 having to be out the door in two hours for a drive into Eau Clair, WI for a folk festival.
We ended up leaving late, mostly my fault. I dragged my feet a little, thank god I did. The festival wasn't worth the drive, let alone the walk from our car. It was a glorified fifth grade civics project. Rooms were "decorated" with different nations colors and posters. Some had more or less interesting copy on the walls, while others supplied the people with what we "really wanted": cuisine. The tightly packed halls stunk of burning curry and kimchi, it wasn't pleasant. The food was priced well enough and we scored a massive, surprisingly tasty, pretzel in the German room (which otherwise offered a weak showing of Brother's Grimm information, including storytime for the kids!). The real reason we were out there was to watch Caroline's sister perform in an African song and drum group.
We'd been there for three hours before they were on stage (read: two and three quarters hours too long); other than the family factor, it wasn't worth the drive or the wait. The drum group was comprised completely of whitey and wasn't too energized nor fulfilling, the "lead drummer" was old and was the entirety of the show. The students played mundane back-beats while he "dazzled" the crowd with his skill. The "choir" group was fun, if not brief. Their songs were good, but their presentation was extremely poor. You can't have a bunch of people on the stage singing native african songs without some hand-jive can you? Of course not! The troupe tried to get something together, but more often than not they'd be swaying opposite directions or half of them would be hand-jiving while the other half looked at the ceiling trying to remember their parts. The uncoordinated happenings really took away from the groups songs. Of course it being Caroline's sister's birthday, we all took this on both cheeks.
We left the hall to eat at El Patio, yeah, on Water St. Eau Clair. The place was a McDonalds in it's hay-day, but now served the collegiate with midwesternized mexican. I had the Chilli Verde plate: pulled pork in salsa verde. It was what I'd expected, weak on flavor and spice, but it filled the tummy. Of course I didn't expect the indigestion that I dealt with on the way home; thank god Caroline had Rolaids with her, else I'd have been visiting Wisconsin's finest gas station bathrooms from Menomonie to Hudson.
We got home just in time to be over-tired. Caroline stayed up playing Mah Jong, while I played Advance Wars 2 infront of the TV. Sleep came too late and the morning too soon, Monday has found me tired and spent after what should have been a wonderfully relaxing weekend. Hell, I wish I'd stayed home. It's snowing and it'd be nice and cozy under a fleece blanket infront of the television.
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Tuesday, October 21st, 2003
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Japanese Lady Beetles.
They're everywhere. They're distasteful little misrepresentations of the bug that kids think are wonderful. I just wish they'd stay the fuck away from my water.
I was reading a little Lileks and suddenly, as if a bolt from the sky, one of these little things riccochets off of my Nalgene like a stray orangish bullet. I didn't know what it was at the first instant, but when I saw the thing, I thought nothing of the wonders it's species does to keep pests off of crops; I simply wanted it to keep away from my fucking water.
Today I get to drop in on Caroline at work to bring her lunch. Wendy's salads: yum!
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Monday, October 13th, 2003
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What a glorious weekend!
Friday night was pleasant, Nate (even after having a going-away dinner from his parents) wanted to have a "going away happy hour" at the Town Hall brewery. It would have been the perfect idea had Friday not been the night of the Michigan/Gophers game. Parking was a bitch, but otherwise everything else was great.
Saturday was low-key, Caroline had class so I did chores and grocery shopped. It was fairly odd and sort of fun to go "major grocery shopping". I'd never really done that for myself, you really can't do that kind of shopping for one person. Before it'd been a frozen entree here, a cannister of oatmeal, maybe some bread and peanut butter; now it was a mass of everything from fruit to cereal to frozen pizza. Saturday afternoon Caroline had to get her mother's "prize" pumpkin to the church pumpkin contest, so we hauled a 70lb. pumpkin to Centreville. It came in 5th place, the winner was 100lbs!
Yesterday was a really nice day too. I got together with Bryce for a sub sammich at Big Ten, saw School of Rock with my sweetheart and had a nice dinner (which included pumpkin pie!)at my parent's. Good times all around.
The only bad thing to really happen lately involved our new towels. We'd washed them yesterday, but when I used one this morning I was covered in red lint. Red lint EVERYWHERE! Brushing that stuff off is time consuming, though I still made it to work on time. Thank god for Caroline's 6:00 alarm!
Speaking of alarms and home life, life is really great right now. We get up together (albeit a little earlier than I'd like), I make us breakfast, she gets ready and leaves right as I finish the dishes and start tossing on the day's clothes. We haven't settled in yet, so the evenings are always busy with building some sort of furniture or moving something or taking other things out of boxes. In other words, bed time comes too quickly! I wouldn't trade any of this for anything.
Hope all is well in all of your worlds, peace out!
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Friday, October 3rd, 2003
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New cellphone.
This comes at a relatively interesting time, but I just paid nearly 300 bones for cellular service for the past two months. I'm dissatisfied with ATT's "next gen" service, I constantly drop service, etc. Not only that, but it's ridiculously expensive for overage. I'm going to browse the market this afternoon to see what people can do for me. I'll talk to ATT first, but who knows what they're going to say. I don't think there's any possiblility that Verizon is going to get my business, but the others might get a nod if their products are solid. Of course one factor is that I've a landline at the new apartment now, that will reduce my usuage somewhat. How much will it impact my usage? I don't know, but I know I'm not willing to pay $170 a month to find out.
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Thursday, October 2nd, 2003
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Changing addressing and starting services is fun, right?
Spent my lunch hour tooling through automated phone response systems trying to get things changed or started. Major address changes were successful, so was getting the electric converted from the former resident's name, getting the phone line setup was pretty easy, but the search for cable has run aground. It seems that The former resident's connection has to be disconnected before they can start up a new account on the same line. There's logic in there somewhere, but you'd think that it'd be much nicer for everyone involved if they didn't have to send a tech out twice. Now waiting for the 8th to come and go isn't really the problem, the problem is waiting until the 8th and then waiting some more for them to reconnect the apartment is. So, no internet for a couple more weeks. I feel naked! =)
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Good morning!
Out with the old, into the new. Yup, the epic moving story has pretty much finished. With a little help I was able to get all of our stuff to the new place in good time. We have plenty of boxes to unpack and things to setup. It's amazing how much stuff Caroline had in that little apartment! We had one van load of just her furniture! Of course after all of that lifting, neither she nor I were really in the mood to get everything setup. We got the bed and dressers up and the bathroom situated. Afterwhich I made macaroni and cheese, which we could only make because Caroline hit up the local grocery for some milk; no butter or margarine used!
The place is very nice, we're in a beautiful area and I wont have to worry about the status of the place. Caroline and I will keep the place in good order. She came equiped with Lysol, scrubbing bubbles and even a vaccuum. Of course keeping it clean isn't something to really worry about, it's trying to decorate the place. No pastels, that's all I say. Caroline has a very good sense of style and the stuff she was thinking about when we went to Target last night was to my liking. So, no clashes in style there.
I am sad that I left my friend in such a way, I left in such a way that will leave our friendship in a relative flux. I'm glad he's not outright angry, he's never been such a person. I don't think outright anger is really worth it, especially when that was the only thing that really kept me from speaking to N the last couple of weeks. She openly hated me, so much so that there was nothing in the world that I felt I could have said that would be worth the return treatment. Not even the great thanks that I had for them both, did I feel like I could have brought up without some sort of brash retaliation. I will not speak to someone that wears a contorted face of disgust every single time I see them. To me, that means there's nothing to be said; regardless her claims. She can be angry, it's a free country. Atleast until GW gets a second term.
Tonight: grocery store and I'm guessing a new beta fish called Franco.
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Friday, September 26th, 2003
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To quote Kang and Kodos, er however you spell 'em: "I agree. Destroy the school!"
New news, happy news, happy-happy news-gnus. Will expound later.
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Tuesday, September 16th, 2003
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The reason for my trepidity, the reason for most of my apprehensiveness to my arrangements to move, the reasons I'd been vague with my roommates are mostly due to the thought of what might happen has actually happened. I did not sign a lease, I only had a womans assurange to my face that she'd lease the target apartment to us, and I had to run with what I had. Caroline called to tell me that the place on Grand was taken from under our nose. So all that preperation, all that shit I've put my roommates and myself through was for naught.
In all honesty, I take what a person in the landlords position says to be the truth. She told us both to our face, "If you want it, it's yours". We told her we wanted it the next day. She had then left for Chicago for a few days, so we allowed our calls to go unanswered over the weekend. We finally got word and it's that she leased it to another person. Why? She told Caroline that she didn't feel comfortable giving us the place because the people upstairs are loud and have parties. I don't get it, we didn't ask for a nursing home, we're young and the guy she's moving in there is a recently divorced older man with probable money problems (to paraphrase the landlady).
So, now I'm in flux. I've a roommate who wants me the "fuck out", I've already listed reasons for me to leave, but I've never really been in a rush to get out. It was the opportunity that created the rush. I was damned if I did and damned if I didn't in other words. Oh, well...
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Wednesday, September 10th, 2003
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I'm moving out of my place with K and N.
It happened so suddenly that I can barely believe that it's happening: I'm renting a new apartment with Caroline. I've done my thinking, I'm not rushing this and as of right now I know I'm not making a mistake. I've never felt the way I do for Caroline for anyone else in my long and quite illustrious dating career. I feel this is right, no more using too much noggin and too little heart. I want this, so there!
K and N took the news in their own ways: K took it pretty well, N hasn't said anything to me past *grunt*. She's a bit upset. I understand, but there are reasons to leave. Just as there are responsibilities to the lease. I've taken care of those. I've made a very good offer to K, which he's accepted, that makes things level and makes the burden of me leaving less. I still consider the both of them friends, K knows this, and perhaps N is taking this a bit too personal. I don't know. So if you're reading this N, this isn't about you guys as friends.
It's mostly the fact that I've never felt my current abode was 1/3rd mine. Tell me that it's my fault, but that'd be incorrect. It's my fault for not saying anything earlier about all the things that made living there difficult. It's my fault for thinking that I could tolerate the weeks of dishes on the counter, never being able to cook as I'd have to clean everything before cooking, the cluttered and buried "living room", the table that I arranged for that's covered with junk, the beer bottles still left on the porch from all the times people have come over for a beer since the party, the overflowing bathroom garbage, the fact that I can never watch any programming on my TV, having to fight for the tiny portion of the fridge for my yogurt, etc. I should have said something earlier, but frankly, I don't know how much that would work. K and N do clean, but not regularly enough to prevent the above from happening regularly. I also don't think it really should come down to me to have to bring these things up. I think that it's everyone's responsibility to respect everyone in the place and keep the place neat, not immaculate, but neat (especially in the common areas). They live in a way that works for them, that's great! I just don't live that way and moving out into a place that's more my own, with someone I love, that lives like I do is a good way of dealing with this. Is it the best way to deal with this? I don't know.
The above may sound like an attack, take it how you do, but know that the way K and N live does not impact me.... not one iota, on the fact that I respect and love them as friends. I just have figured that I can't live with them.
This might be the best time to flesh out my own inadequacies in the rooming realm, if N's reading and would like to bring some up. Please do. Regarding "being loud", as I know that'd come up, I am almost always concerned with how much noise I make in the apartment. We have creaking floors, doors that stick and have poor mechanisms (especially mine) and the rooms are right next to each other. I always try to glean from a quick peek to see if N is still asleep and try to respect that (regardless if it's at 8am or 5pm). Whatever else, I'd be glad to know.
Everything will be fine, I'm sure of it (a rare optimistic moment from me). Now for shoring everything up, packing all my junk and starting a new home! *shudder*
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Wednesday, August 27th, 2003
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I feel terrible, but not too terrible.
The pool league team lost yesterday, due to the fact that they didn't have anymore lower rated players to put up. I was with my friend of whom I've seen no more than twice in three years, the last time he was in a hospital bed after a nearly fatal automobile crash. The other player who wasn't there, 'Berto, I have no excuse for. I spoke with him and he said that he was going to call Kory about not being able to show. I wont take responsibility for him, but I'm saddened by the fact that he's to be asked to not come back... Things happen and pool league is, by and large, not the end of the world. Of course, if we (I'm not excluded from this) hadn't have played poorly the last half of the season we wouldn't even be in this mess.
It seems to be a week of seeing old friends; tonight I get to see my buddy Matt's new pad. He's bought a condo in downtown St. Paul and I've finally managed to get ahold of him to see it (and him). All summer he was organizing a youth camp, er leading, er counsiling or somesuch. Now that he's teaching high school again, we can finally get together. He gets to meet Caroline too!
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Monday, August 25th, 2003
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Slow day. The most exciting thing that happened was lunch. So, yeah. Exciting.
Yesterday evening I spent a half an hour chatting with Caroline, mostly comforting her nerves before teaching her first day of school this year. She was a wreck, a shaking, nervous, wreck. I told her she knew that everything was going to be alright, she said "she knows", but still insisted on being a nervous wreck. =)
She sent an email to me this afternoon, saying that she'd had a find day; a light day, no seventh graders. That and the fact that she'd ruined two pairs of nylons. Really, one of those things that guys never even take a second to think of: nylons. Supposedly they're inexpensively costly in their fragility. Considering they're part of her "uniform", she can't wear a skirt without them, losing two pair to the odd affliction women call "running" isn't that great a thing.
I'm just about out of work, sitting here finishing up some last minute tasks and project work. After that I get to go down to my parent's and watch the Reds, hopefully, beat Aston Villa. They better beat Villa, damnit! Regardless of circumstance, tomorrow I'll be able to read all the football (soccer) webpages: I've been in blackout since Saturday.
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krycis's journal